Very Confused, Cain

Dear God,

I don't understand why me and Abel have to pay for Mom and Dad's mistakes. I mean, they told us all about how it was before that wretched day when they disobeyed You. And we can see for ourselves how different it is now. They said that You used to spend time "walking in the garden in the cool of the day" with them (Gen 3:19). They can't tell us how You made everything, since you made it all before them, but they tell us that they never used to have to wear shoes. I hate shoes! Why can't I have a chance to live in the Garden of Eden too where there were no thorns (Gen 3:18)! 

Mom says I shouldn't hate. She says I have an anger problem and need to think before I act, but I don't have to listen to her, because she hates snakes. And if she can hate snakes then I can hate shoes. 

Oh, and Dad said that they never had to plant stuff when they lived there. Everything just grew on its own. Now I have to get up early every morning and go plant, water, weed, harvest...(Gen 3:19) I like seeing things grow, but it is so much work! It's so unfair. I wish it could all be perfect again. Dad says You are perfect and we should be amazed, but I wonder if You changed too when they left the garden?

Very Confused, Cain

Very Hopeful, Lamech

Dear God,

My great, great, great, great, great, great grandpa isn't doing so well. I mean, Grandpa Adam was 874 years old when I was born (Gen 5), but I wonder how much longer he will live. I wonder what happens to people that die. I know You didn't want us to die. And I have never known anyone that died, but I did hear stories of great, great, great, great, great Uncle Abel. I know that he died when great, great, great, great, great Uncle Cain got angry and killed him (Gen 4:8). And I also heard about that young man that injured Lamech so Lamech killed him - my cousin Lamech, not me (Gen 4:23). I wonder if you could just take us all away instead of us dying like you did with Grandpa Enoch (Gen 5:24)? That would be so cool! I tried asking Grandpa Adam that, but he said that we used to be allowed to live forever, but he and Grandma Eve broke Your only rule that You gave them and because they did You said that they would, "return to the ground, since from it you were taken; for dust you are and to dust you will return." (Gen 3:19) I think that's kind of scary. Grandpa Adam gets really sad when I tell him stories about what people are doing these days. He says when he and Grandma Eve lived in the garden it was peaceful. I told him about how much people party and how mean people are. He said none of that even used to exist. It's crazy how much the world has changed in his lifetime. God, I hope You can fix it. Grandpa Adam says You can because You made it all, and he says I should try to obey You even when everyone else doesn't. So I will try, because I believe all the stories Grandpa Adam tells me about You. Please hurry though, there is so much bad everywhere!

Very Hopeful, Lamech 

Thankful to be alive, Arphaxad

Dear God,

I'm so curious! I told Grandpa Noah the other day that I wish I had been born before the flood, but he said I wouldn't have wanted to be born before the flood because it was so sad to see how mean people were. He says Great Grandpa Lamech prayed and prayed that You would fix it quick and then Grandpa Noah was born and You told him to build the ark. That's pretty cool, but I just think it would be fun to have friends I mean more than my brothers Elam and Asshur, and my cousins Gomer, Magog, Cush, Mizraim and the little ones (Gen 10:2, 6, 22). And maybe if I had friends they would've known about You and we could've taken them on the ark too. 

Or at least I could've been born on the ark! Then I could've had all the pets I ever wanted! Dad tells me stories about how he had to feed the elephants and how he and Uncle Japheth would pet the lions and make Uncle Ham clean up all the bird poop. Poor Uncle Ham, even before Grandpa Noah cursed him he got picked on by his brothers cause he was the youngest of the three. 

He got cursed because Grandpa Noah actually made the first mistake and got drunk (Gen 9:21). I guess he was laying in his tent naked and Uncle Ham saw him. Instead of covering him up and being respectful he went off and told Dad and Uncle Japheth (Gen 9:22). So Dad and Uncle Japheth went in and covered him up (Gen 9:23). So Grandpa Noah blessed those two but cursed Uncle Ham (Gen 9:25-27). I think Dad got the best blessing to have Uncle Ham's descendants be like slaves to us. It seems pretty sad and kinda harsh to me, but Grandpa Noah says that God deals harshly with sin and so he will too. 

But I am glad, God, that You did at least promise to never kill everyone again with a flood. Sometimes I have nightmares when it's rainy, but Mom says that the rainbows are a promise from You that "Never again will the waters become a flood to destroy all life" (Gen 9:15). 

Thankful to be alive, Arphaxad 

Trying to listen, Ishmael

Dear God,

I wonder if You really do hear. I mean, I know Dad believes in You completely and Mom does at least a little, because she named me "God hears", but it seems like whenever they "hear You" they act like crazy people! Like let me just back up and remind You what I'm talking about. Dad "heard You" when You told him to, "Leave your country, your people, and your father's household and go to the land I will show you" (Gen 12:1). I mean, we do have a nice yard, but it would be nicer to know my cousins - at least more than just Uncle Lot's two girls! 

Then Dad "heard You" tell him You would make him into a great nation (Gen 12:2). That started a ton of drama with Mom and Missy Sarah because Missy Sarah was dad's wife, and she couldn't have any kids. But Dad didn't want his blessing that he'd "heard from You" being passed down to Uncle Eliezer so Missy Sarah told Dad to make a baby with Mom because she was Missy Sarah's maidservant (Gen 16:1-2). So anyway, Mom didn't really have a choice in the whole deal but she ended up getting pregnant with me. She was devastated because she knew that I would have to be given to Missy Sarah and become her and Dad's kid instead of Mom and Dad's kid. But Mom and Missy Sarah got in a big fight and Mom ran away (Gen 16:8). But anyway, Mom "heard You" again when You sent an angel and told her I'd be a crazy kid and what not, but that You would make us great too, but that she had to go back. So she did and then I was born at home. 

The next time Dad "heard You" was probably my least favorite! I was 13 years old and You came up with this crazy covenant called 'circumcision'. The girls had to take care of us for a whole week while we recovered from that! 

That same time though, You promised me a half brother, and Missy Sarah laughed at You (Gen 17:16, 18:12). I guess she's with me in not being so sure if You are serious or just crazy when you speak.

Well, that time You came through and Missy Sarah actually got pregnant even when no one thought she could. She had baby Isaac about 9 months later and we all celebrated. Mom was a little sad because that meant everything wouldn't get handed down to me, but she was also happy, because now I was more her kid than Missy Sarah's. But as a teenager I made some mistakes and when Isaac was weened we all had a big feast and I was causing some trouble and Missy Sarah was obviously in a bad mood, but she told Dad to kick me and Mom out (Gen 21:10). She wanted everything to get passed down to Isaac instead of me...even though I was older.

Dad actually did send us away and we almost died. It's hard to survive in the desert. But that's another time Mom says "You heard" me crying and showed her a well. And we ended up surviving just fine out there. 

The last crazy thing I'll remind You of is when You told Dad to kill baby Isaac (Gen 22:2). What were You thinking?!? I didn't even like him that much, but to kill him? You sent them off to offer a sacrifice with no animal and Dad actually tied Isaac up and was about to kill him! I always wonder if Dad thought of me and knew it would be okay. But You spared Isaac after all, so he does get everything. 

I just don't understand You. Sometimes You seem so nice, other times just scary. I think You do talk and even hear us, because I probably would be dead otherwise, but then sometimes I think if I listened harder You might ask me to die or something like You did with baby Isaac. Anyway, I do know one thing, you are in control of it all.

Trying to listen, Ishmael

Constantly Questioning, Benjamin

Dear God,

Do you have favorites? I feel like my whole life has been playing the favorite game. Like I know that Great Grandpa Abraham had favorites so much that he even sent one of his kids away (Gen 21:14). Then Grandpa Isaac had twins and he and Grandma each loved a different one more (Gen 25:28). Then Dad ran away after he stole Uncle Esau's blessing and worked for Uncle Laban and married Mom and Mama Leah - and Mama Bilhah and Mama Zilpah. But he had favorites too and loved Mom the most (Gen 29:30). That's what they tell me anyway, I never got to meet Mom. Sometimes I wonder how I can be dad's current favorite when it's my fault that she died (Gen 35:16-18). I get so sad when I think about it. And the boys always tease me and say she named me correctly, "son of my trouble" when I do bad things but Dad intervenes and says he changed my name to, "son of my right hand" for a reason and that they shouldn't tease me.

But anyway, I wasn't always the favorite. Dad used to love Joseph more, but he died. All the older brothers came home one day with his special coat that Dad gave him and it was torn and covered in blood (Gen 37:31-35). I thought maybe Dad would die that day too and I got really scared because I didn't have my own Mom like all the other boys do. But he didn't die. I'm glad. Sometimes I feel bad being his 'favorite'. I remember when Joseph was and I was jealous so I know how the other boys must feel. Not to mention how over protective he is of me! So, do You? Is it possible to love us all or do You have to have favorites? Are we too many for You?

Constantly Questioning, Benjamin