Dear God,
I worshiped You and praised You (Luke 2:20), but
You didn't protect my family. People laughed at us and thought we were crazy,
or I was a liar, but we stood up for You. We did it because You said You were
sending a Savior (Luke 2:11), but God, You sent him too late. Why did You send
him as a baby (Luke 2:12) instead of as a warrior?
I still remember the night in the fields with
the older shepherds and the sheep. I was asleep at first, but then I heard
talking and there was an angel. He told us not to be afraid and that You were
sending a Savior and even gave us a sign (Luke 2:8-12). I was still scared even
though he said not to be, but the older guys wanted to go see. So I went too
cause that was better than staying with the sheep by myself. We saw him. He was
just a baby. And they were all out in the stable instead of in a nice house. I
guess they were travelers.
But now, I just don't even see the point. You sent
a Savior that can't protect us. What good is he to us? Now my baby brother is
dead. Herod made an order to kill all the baby boys (Matt 2:16). It's not fair.
Jonathan was 2 years old already. He could walk, eat little things, and even
say words. He used to follow me around the house and sometimes I got mad at
him...I wish I never had. I miss him so much. Why was the Savior You sent us so
little. So insignificant. So useless? I just don't understand. Is there another
Messiah coming? What of that little baby boy? Did he die too? I just have so
many questions and life is so unfair.
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