Dear God,
Do you have favorites? I feel like my whole life
has been playing the favorite game. Like I know that Great Grandpa Abraham had
favorites so much that he even sent one of his kids away (Gen 21:14). Then
Grandpa Isaac had twins and he and Grandma each loved a different one more (Gen
25:28). Then Dad ran away after he stole Uncle Esau's blessing and worked for
Uncle Laban and married Mom and Mama Leah - and Mama Bilhah and Mama Zilpah.
But he had favorites too and loved Mom the most (Gen 29:30). That's what they
tell me anyway, I never got to meet Mom. Sometimes I wonder how I can be dad's
current favorite when it's my fault that she died (Gen 35:16-18). I get so sad
when I think about it. And the boys always tease me and say she named me
correctly, "son of my trouble" when I do bad things but Dad
intervenes and says he changed my name to, "son of my right hand" for
a reason and that they shouldn't tease me.
But anyway, I wasn't always the favorite. Dad used
to love Joseph more, but he died. All the older brothers came home one day with
his special coat that Dad gave him and it was torn and covered in blood (Gen
37:31-35). I thought maybe Dad would die that day too and I got really scared
because I didn't have my own Mom like all the other boys do. But he didn't die.
I'm glad. Sometimes I feel bad being his 'favorite'. I remember when Joseph was
and I was jealous so I know how the other boys must feel. Not to mention how
over protective he is of me! So, do You? Is it possible to love us all or do
You have to have favorites? Are we too many for You?
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