Dear God,
I wonder if You really do hear. I mean, I know Dad
believes in You completely and Mom does at least a little, because she named me
"God hears", but it seems like whenever they "hear You"
they act like crazy people! Like let me just back up and remind You what I'm
talking about. Dad "heard You" when You told him to, "Leave your
country, your people, and your father's household and go to the land I will
show you" (Gen 12:1). I mean, we do have a nice yard, but it would be
nicer to know my cousins - at least more than just Uncle Lot's two girls!
Then Dad "heard You" tell him You would
make him into a great nation (Gen 12:2). That started a ton of drama with Mom
and Missy Sarah because Missy Sarah was dad's wife, and she couldn't have any
kids. But Dad didn't want his blessing that he'd "heard from You"
being passed down to Uncle Eliezer so Missy Sarah told Dad to make a baby with
Mom because she was Missy Sarah's maidservant (Gen 16:1-2). So anyway, Mom
didn't really have a choice in the whole deal but she ended up getting pregnant
with me. She was devastated because she knew that I would have to be given to
Missy Sarah and become her and Dad's kid instead of Mom and Dad's kid. But Mom
and Missy Sarah got in a big fight and Mom ran away (Gen 16:8). But anyway, Mom
"heard You" again when You sent an angel and told her I'd be a crazy
kid and what not, but that You would make us great too, but that she had to go
back. So she did and then I was born at home.
The next time Dad "heard You" was
probably my least favorite! I was 13 years old and You came up with this crazy
covenant called 'circumcision'. The girls had to take care of us for a whole
week while we recovered from that!
That same time though, You promised me a half
brother, and Missy Sarah laughed at You (Gen 17:16, 18:12). I guess she's with
me in not being so sure if You are serious or just crazy when you speak.
Well, that time You came through and Missy Sarah
actually got pregnant even when no one thought she could. She had baby Isaac
about 9 months later and we all celebrated. Mom was a little sad because that
meant everything wouldn't get handed down to me, but she was also happy,
because now I was more her kid than Missy Sarah's. But as a teenager I made
some mistakes and when Isaac was weened we all had a big feast and I was
causing some trouble and Missy Sarah was obviously in a bad mood, but she told
Dad to kick me and Mom out (Gen 21:10). She wanted everything to get passed
down to Isaac instead of me...even though I was older.
Dad actually did send us away and we almost died.
It's hard to survive in the desert. But that's another time Mom says "You
heard" me crying and showed her a well. And we ended up surviving just
fine out there.
The last crazy thing I'll remind You of is when You
told Dad to kill baby Isaac (Gen 22:2). What were You thinking?!? I didn't even
like him that much, but to kill him? You sent them off to offer a sacrifice
with no animal and Dad actually tied Isaac up and was about to kill him! I
always wonder if Dad thought of me and knew it would be okay. But You spared
Isaac after all, so he does get everything.
I just don't understand You. Sometimes You seem so
nice, other times just scary. I think You do talk and even hear us, because I
probably would be dead otherwise, but then sometimes I think if I listened
harder You might ask me to die or something like You did with baby Isaac.
Anyway, I do know one thing, you are in control of it all.
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